She was kind enough to agree to me posting her work on my blog for all to see. It really captures the maddening "cycle of abuse" and gives the reader a sense of the various emotions experienced by the abused. Thank you, Imani for sharing your gift with us. You are one of the strongest "SiStars" I know :)
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Reluctantly she
Goes to the mirror to gingerly
Wipe the bloodstained tears
That have dried on her face
Standing up straight to regain her composure
Though her nose is tender and swollen
And there’s holes in her hose, her
Heart is heavy she holds her
Chin up
Tries to conjure a fake grin up
But her jaw is too tight for it to last long
She covers her bruises with make up
And tells herself to stand strong
She has to keep up the appearances
For her new employer
And as a youngster she observed her mother
Make it through the pain for years
And Junior?
He fears that he may hug his mama too tight
Because even his toddler embraces cause her discomfort and pain
He watched her new lover grapple with mommy
Like he was in a welterweight championship ring
Because when he arrived home late from work
Dinner wasn’t quite ready
Her stance wasn’t quite steady
Because the dizzy spells set in when the kitchen is warm
And she is torn
Between staying in the unsafe haven that he provides
And escaping to a battered woman’s shelter
Her pride makes her decision to stay seem helter skelter
Because someone on the outside, in their right mind would surely find
That a temporary living situation must be better than a permanent hell
No one can tell her to leave because her self-esteem seems to have left with her dreams
She didn’t complete her degree and her wages are minimum
He allows her to charge the credit card to the maximum
To make up for his guilt and his shame
Shopping only momentarily dulls her pain
Standing in the fitting room mirror in her designer threads
Looking as elegant as a supermodel on a runway
Pretending she has run away to a faraway place
With no bruises on her face
With no welp marks on her waist
No contusions no confusion…
But it’s just a delusion
Because she is afraid to muster up the courage to leave
The illusion of materialism and greed
Deceives her into believing
That there is no way out
She couldn’t possibly afford a car note, daycare
And a payment on a house
Trapped
Waiting on the next time for her man to snap
For something minimal
Him becoming a domestic terrorist was subliminal
He grew up watching his dad abuse his mom daily
And he himself wants to stop but his lady
Just lets him get away with it
He used to love her but now the respect is out the window
He blames her for his temper
That kicks in when the wind blows
He never thought he’d have the nerve to
Put a woman’s head through the bedroom window
And he’s trapped between
Becoming a real man and getting control of his emotions
And using his money to get the power he thinks he needs to control her
The cycle must stop
She has got
To know her value understand her worth
She was created with great purpose and destiny from birth
She doesn’t need letters behind her name to be worthy
A child out of wedlock does not make her dirty
A fresh start, a new heart is what she needed
Want your degree? Just go complete it
Want to lose weight? Just watch your eating and move
You can do whatever you want to do
You can be whatever you want to be
Open your eyes and realize dreams can become reality
Perseverance, faith and fortitude can rebuild your esteem
You may know this woman. It was me.
Reading it again took me back there. My prayer is that the things we share can be a postive impact on women who share this experience, and can empower them to MOVE! Love you siStar!
ReplyDeleteReading this poem did conjure up some emotions for me but though the emotions may have been negative at the time I have turned the negative into positive. As you have stated Imani, your poem is empowering and leaves me feeling you can do it if you really want to.
ReplyDeleteI am not going to go in depth here but I also experience a level of abuse.