Feb 8, 2013

And He Wonders Why He's Single...

I don't get hit on very often, but when I do it's usually a blog-worthy experience whether for good or for bad.  This past Tuesday was no exception.
 
So I'm watching J and his basketball team at practice when all of a sudden I hear a voice behind me say "Where do you work?"  I turn and see an average looking brotha staring at me waiting for an answer.  I give him one.  "Hmmmm...you look familiar", he says.  "Trying to figure out where I know you from."
 
Dude, please.  You know you don't know me from Adam.
 
Predictably, the conversation turns to my accent, which leads to the "Is your husband from England too?" question I've heard more than a few times before.
 
He proceeds to suggest we go for drinks some time. When he notices I'm not jumping at the idea, he reassures me "Look, I'm not trying to be your man. I'm trying to be your kick it buddy."  He holds his hand out for a fist pump with a huge grin on his face.  I leave him hangin.
 
First of all, what the heck is a "kick it buddy" and why would he feel the need to make the distinction?  Second, why is a 30+ year old man making such a proposition?  At his son's basketball practice, no less!  I asked him why he felt the need to make the distinction between being my man and being my kick it buddy.  He was unable to provide an answer that I could consider satisfactory.
 
There are a few other issues I had with this dude's approach, including but not limited to the fact that I'm 99.9999% sure I saw him sporting a wedding ring the first time I saw him at practice a few weeks ago.  He claims he and his wife have been separated for two years.  I'm not buying it.
 
At this stage in life, kick it buddies should not be an option.  We're too grown for that, especially if we have kids of our own.  I have plenty of great friends, male and female, I can call up to go see a movie, get something to eat and just talk with.  What would be the purpose of having a kick it buddy at this point?
 
Needless to say, I did not take homeboy up on his offer.  A word to all the single men out there...don't ever make such a suggestion to a grown woman with kids.  And women, don't let a man come at you like that, no matter how fine he might be!  Your time is valuable and he needs to respect that from day one if he's going to be a part of your life. 

Feb 6, 2013

On Being Content

A few weeks ago, along with the wonderful women in my church life group "Virtuous View", I began an amazing journey.  We started reading and discussing together Priscilla Shirer's book "The Resolution For Women".  If, like me, you have never read a Priscilla Shirer book, I encourage you to check out her website at www.goingbeyond.com.  She's full of great words of wisdom...and she's funny too!

The first part of the book calls us to make a resolution to be content.  Content with who we are right now, warts and all.  Content with our circumstances.  Content with our status, be it related to family, finances, career, age or all of the above.  In the first chapter, "Every Bite Counts", Ms. Shirer speaks about how, right before her 36th birthday, she realized she had been rushing from one milestone in her life to the next she thought she was expected  to achieve, without really stopping to enjoy life at any particular moment.

That's when it hit me that for most of my adult life, I have done the exact same thing.  I rushed to get married at the tender age of 21.  3 months after I said I do, I was pregnant with my first child.  5 months after the birth of my beautiful little girl, I discovered I was pregnant with my little man.  When he was only 2 years old, I became a single mother.  When I look back now, I can barely remember my children being toddlers.  Not just because I have a terrible memory, but because I was in a rush.  Life as a single mother to 2 young children while working a full-time job and living thousands of miles away from my family was tough, even though my kids were amazingly well-behaved.  We were constantly on the go and I was always exhausted.  I would find myself wishing they were older, more independent and able to help me to help them a little more...as well as sleep through the night!

Well now that they are a little more independent, I catch myself looking back on their younger years thinking "where did the years go??"  The simple answer?  I wished them away.  I was so busy looking ahead to a time in my life and theirs when I thought things would be so much easier, I didn't take the time to enjoy them as the beautiful little babies they were.  So if you are a single parent or in some other stage of your life that has caused you to become discontent, I encourage you to take a second and really consider the many blessings in your life.  From waking up this morning healthy enough to get out of bed to having enough money in the bank to keep the debt collectors away...these are all reasons to be content with your life as it is right now.

Personally, I'm choosing to savor every single moment I spend with my children from now on.  From J's incessant question asking, to the randomness of almost everything K says...I will never take any moment for granted any more because we all know how fast time flies.  I don't want to wake up 10 years from now to an empty nest and no memories of the way things were.  As for the years that have already passed by, thank God I took a lot of pictures!  Weren't they adorable??!