Sep 9, 2012

When Being Single Sucks

This week, I've had a world of trouble with my car, Betsy.  It all started on Tuesday morning.  After dropping my kids off at school, I took my usual back road route to avoid traffic on the major roads and hopefully make it to work on time.  It had rained the night before so the roads were still a little wet.  The road curved and as I turned my steering wheel, I felt it lock and my car began to turn more sharply than I intended.  I was headed for the grassy area and trees on the side of the road and all I could do was scream and pray.  I can honestly say it was the most scary moment of my life.  I was thankful my kids were not in the car to experience that.  I would hate for them to have that memory for the rest of their lives.

I truly believe God was in the car with me at that moment.  I could feel the car spinning 180 degrees but it was like it was happening in slow motion.  Like He was guiding the car as it was spinning.  My car ended up facing the direction I had come from, but thankfully did not hit any other cars or trees.  I had no damage to my car or my body.  But I was in an awkward position facing oncoming traffic, which had to swerve at the last moment to avoid hitting me.  I was finally able to get myself together and got my car back on the right side of the road.  I drove like a granny all the way to Discount Tire to get my tires replaced.  Cost me a fortune . . . but worth it for the safety of my children and me.

Fast forward two days.  I think I'm sitting pretty right?  I replaced my brakes and practically everything under the hood of my car in April.  I just got brand new tires.  What could go wrong, I asked myself??  There's nothing else that can be replaced!

Famous last words . . .

After my son's soccer practice on Thursday, the kids and I piled into the car ready to go home to watch Big Brother 14 (we love that show!).  I turn the key in the ignition . . . I hear a choking sound.  Not good.  Strangely enough, the lights and radio came on but the engine would not turn over.  I tried again, willing it to magically start.  Still, nothing. 

Those of you who know me know I DO NOT like to ask for help.  EVER.  Call me prideful.  Call me stubborn.  I just hate to inconvenience other people by asking them to help me to do something I can't do for myself. 

My kids, on the other hand, are completely fine with asking for help.  I'm thankful they did not inherit the "I'll do it myself even though it'll be a struggle" gene from me!  They encouraged me to ask for help from the coaches and parents and, in the spirit of teamwork, they all pulled together to get Betsy going again.  They actually cheered and clapped when it started.  It was a victorious moment for the team!

Fast forward another 2 days.  I hadn't had chance to take the car in to make sure it was the battery and nothing else giving me trouble, but Betsy was running fine so I thought maybe it was a one off.  About 30 minutes before leaving for K and J's soccer games on Saturday morning, I started the car up and it was fine.  So you can imagine my despair when we all hopped in the car, I turned the key in the ignition and Betsy started croaking again.  Are you kidding me?!?!?!?  I have to ask someone for a jump AGAIN??  And it's 9:30am on a Saturday morning!  Even more of an inconvenience!

Long story short, my neighbor across the street was nice enough to give me a jump and we went on our way.  After the games, we stopped at two auto parts stores to get the battery checked.  One said it needed replacing, the other said it was just fine and only needed charging so I should hop on the highway to charge it up.  Seriously?  I should burn gas to charge my battery??  Have you seen gas prices?!  It was probably be more cost efficient to buy a new one!

At this point, I had reached my limit.  Yeah, I'm independent.  But when it comes to car repair and maintenance beyond a routine oil change, I'm clueless.  How do I know which auto part person to believe?  How do I know I'm not being taken for a ride? 

It is at this moment, I believe, that being single sucks.  Men are generally more knowledgable when it comes to car repair than women, let's just be real.  Maybe if I had a husband, he could have taken one look at my tires and told me it was time to get them replaced, thus avoiding the whole hydroplaning incident.  Maybe if I had a husband, he could have taken the car in to get the battery replaced the first time it needed a jump.  Or even if he hadn't had time to do that, we could have taken his car and J would have made it to his soccer game on time.  Instead, he missed the first 20 minutes of his first game of the season because Betsy just couldn't get going.

I do have some great male friends and was able to get the advice I needed from them and got a new battery installed yesterday.  One of them actually called the auto shop to get advice on the type of battery I needed, just to make sure I didn't get taken advantage of when I went in.  I thought that was pretty cool.  But as great as that is, it's not the same as having a man in the house 24/7, totally invested in the safety and wellbeing of my children and me at all times. 

Don't get it twisted, I'm not backing down from my last post, where I declared myself to be happily single and not interested in seeking a relationship any time soon.  I'm just acknowledging the fact that relationships do have their benefits and being single is not where I want to be permanently. This is a temporary stopping point for me to regroup and become the best woman I came be for my future mate.  Eventually, one day I'm sure there will be a man around to help if Betsy starts acting crazy, or something needs repairing in the house.  But before that happens, I need to get Charlotte together, especially my thoughts on The Institution of Marriage, which will be the subject of my next blog post.  Look out for it coming soon!


  1. You can always bring your car to a repair shop whenever you feel that it has a problem. It’s hard to be a single mom and its okay if there are things that you can’t do, like car repairs. Anyway, don’t feel bad that you’re alone raising your kids. Instead, be proud because you are doing a great job!

    -Stelle Courney

  2. Sorry to hear you had to go through all those troubles. The next time you hear something, or even feel that there is something wrong with you car, you should get it inspected as soon as possible. And good job, by the way, for having the guts to raise your family on your own! Women like you are people to look up to!

    @Bryan Meeks